As women, we can sometimes get so blinded by love that we don’t recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship when they’re staring us right in the face. We must make sure that we are in a situation that is going to grow us, not suppress us. Here are some tips to keep in mind when dating:
1. Visibility matters.
There is a big difference between privacy and secrecy. If your “boyfriend” doesn’t take you outside of the dorm room or the basement, chances are, he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you.
The same goes for shout outs on social media. Now, I know every couple has their own opinions about social media. And that’s fine.
But in my opinion if homeboy never posts a picture of you and you post one of him every Monday for #MCM, you may want to rethink your relationship. Visibility matters.
A genuine guy with the right intentions would proudly walk with you hand-in-hand. He wouldn’t care about what his friends think.
He would show you respect and attention and let other girls know that he’s off limits. He wouldn’t give into the flirting or any other foolishness.
2. Trust your intuition
You should know yourself well enough to know when a situation isn’t quite right. If you find yourself crying more than laughing, chances are, he isn’t the one for you. If you always seem to argue and never agree about anything, no matter what the subject is, then you are wasting your time.
Chemistry and compatibility are very real standards of measurement in a relationship. Pretty much, there should be something more than physical attraction that keeps the two of you together. Look out for the signs and follow your heart.
We have to be willing to let the relationship go, though, and trust that Mr. Right will come at God’s appointed time. You know, when we are healed, secure and emotionally stable.
3. Communication is key
No matter how long you have been “talking,” there should always be a healthy line of communication between you and your boo. He should never make you feel insecure about the status of the relationship and neither should you. Likewise, he should never find out something from another source before you tell him.
Being healthy communicators means that you have to discuss your feelings. You have to be open to hearing what one another has to say and you have to respect their sentiments as truth.
You can’t roll your eyes and wish they’d stop being overly emotional. No, you have to stand with them in their truth and they have to do the same for you.
Also, the way you talk to one another will determine the growth of your relationship. If you do nothing but accuse him of cheating, chances are, he will either leave you or put up an emotional block.
If he criticizes you for everything you wear, chances are, you’ll never feel like anything you do is good enough. Learn how to speak life, not death, over one another.
No matter how long you’ve been together, never be afraid to express your true feelings. Every relationship is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your partner. Just try to make sure that you guys are together for the right reasons. Happy dating!