Boris and Nicole – Rolling Out Mag
As a woman, I’ve always wondered who’d I’d end up marrying and in today’s society, you can’t help but also wonder whether your future marriage will last. I come from a divorced home, with two step-parents. Both of my parents remarried and are still with those partners today, but the fact that it took more than one marriage to get to that point makes me wonder about my own path.
Over the years, I always wondered why so many people in America get divorced. I’ve seen my friends and family members run through relationships and found it quite scary. I’m a sucker for romance and happy ever afters, but I’m also realist. That’s why when I decided to look for my future husband (yes, I said look), so I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t settle for anything less than what I needed, and anything extra was a bonus.
To help me in my search, I thought long and hard about the most important things in life and marriage, and felt that this should be the basis of my search. So to find the ideal husband and to get into a marriage that had the potential to last forever, I found the following 4 topics to be very, very important.
Religion: This is at the top for me because it goes into everything that makes you who you are — your morals and beliefs. This is what most people base their life decisions off of, and if you want someone who resonates with you, then it’s a good idea to be in the same religion. I find that religious beliefs tend to break apart relationships eventually, especially if one or both are really into their own religion.
Having children: How do you want to raise your children? Where do you want to raise your children? How do you want to discipline your children? What religion do you want your child to believe in? Do you even want children and if so, how many? If one or both of you have children already, what roles will the step-parent play? These are all important questions to discuss with a potential mate before becoming serious.
Life goals: Some people just aren’t on the same page when it comes to what they want out of life. You may be a go getter who wants the better things in life, while your mate is more relaxed about the direction their life is going in — a go with the flow type. This can become irking if you don’t address this head on. We all know how finances can break apart even the best relationships.
Marriage: Don’t put this topic off because you’re afraid of running him away. If you want to one day get married and your mate doesn’t, we obviously have an issue.
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You don’t want to spend your relationship trying to convince him that you’re the one when he isn’t even looking. And if he is interested, find out his thoughts on his role as a husband and what he wants his wife to be like and see if that suits you. Don’t try to be cookie cutter, if it’s not you, then move on to someone else.
It’s a good idea to talk about what the both of you are looking for in a mate well before marriage as well. Why waste your time dating someone who isn’t right?
I don’t know about you, but I didn’t want to waste time dating people that wouldn’t make the cut. So I cut to the chase in my discussions with potentials to see if it was even worth the attempt. No one’s getting any younger and if marriage is your end goal, then that should be at the forefront of your mind when you’re considering a potential mate.
4 Things You Should Discuss Before You Commit to a Relationship
Summary
What you should be discussing before committing to any relationship? Let’s Discuss Marriage, Kids, Religion Goals, and more before becoming serious.
I agree !!!
Religion, yes. Because I need to know if you will be praying for me and our family. Children, definitely. For all the reasons that were listed in the article. If I were looking for a husband then yes, marriage will definitely be a topic for disscussion. I wouldn’t want to waste either of our time being in a relationship when I want to get married and you don’t.
I wouldn’t put the topic of finances under life goals. That is an entirely separate discussion. How important is it to you to pay your bills on time? Do you use credit cards more than your debit card? Do you know your FICO score? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy? Do you want to own property or not? Do you have a checking account? How much of your income are you saving toward your future? Do you feel that married couples are supposed to combine all of their finances? I would want answers to all of this. How can you build a future and not be on the same pages with your finances is beyond me. A spender and a saver will forever be in conflict. Heck even when you are on the same page, money will still come up so it is best to minimize that issue from the get-go.
I would also add, not necessarily as a discussion to have before you commit, but definitely something you should take note of before committing is how the person deals with stress and conflict. Communication is huge in any relationship and I feel it is essential to a healthy marriage. Be sure that the person you are marrying won’t run at the first sign of trouble, that they don’t blown up and storm off, that they don’t get physical, and that they are willing to work with you. Unless you like yelling and screaming, then by all means, have at it.
Antwone Brown we covered it all
Please people have forgotten the practice of courting!
Once they swapped bodily fluids they assume they in a relationship….