As a woman, I’ve always wondered who’d I’d end up marrying and in today’s society, you can’t help but also wonder whether your future marriage will last. I come from a divorced home, with two step-parents. Both of my parents remarried and are still with those partners today, but the fact that it took more than one marriage to get to that point makes me wonder about my own path.
Over the years, I always wondered why so many people in America get divorced. I’ve seen my friends and family members run through relationships and found it quite scary. I’m a sucker for romance and happy ever afters, but I’m also realist. That’s why when I decided to look for my future husband (yes, I said look), so I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t settle for anything less than what I needed, and anything extra was a bonus.
To help me in my search, I thought long and hard about the most important things in life and marriage, and felt that this should be the basis of my search. So to find the ideal husband and to get into a marriage that had the potential to last forever, I found the following 4 topics to be very, very important.
Religion: This is at the top for me because it goes into everything that makes you who you are — your morals and beliefs. This is what most people base their life decisions off of, and if you want someone who resonates with you, then it’s a good idea to be in the same religion. I find that religious beliefs tend to break apart relationships eventually, especially if one or both are really into their own religion.
Having children: How do you want to raise your children? Where do you want to raise your children? How do you want to discipline your children? What religion do you want your child to believe in? Do you even want children and if so, how many? If one or both of you have children already, what roles will the step-parent play? These are all important questions to discuss with a potential mate before becoming serious.
Life goals: Some people just aren’t on the same page when it comes to what they want out of life. You may be a go getter who wants the better things in life, while your mate is more relaxed about the direction their life is going in — a go with the flow type. This can become irking if you don’t address this head on. We all know how finances can break apart even the best relationships.
Marriage: Don’t put this topic off because you’re afraid of running him away. If you want to one day get married and your mate doesn’t, we obviously have an issue.
You don’t want to spend your relationship trying to convince him that you’re the one when he isn’t even looking. And if he is interested, find out his thoughts on his role as a husband and what he wants his wife to be like and see if that suits you. Don’t try to be cookie cutter, if it’s not you, then move on to someone else.
It’s a good idea to talk about what the both of you are looking for in a mate well before marriage as well. Why waste your time dating someone who isn’t right?
I don’t know about you, but I didn’t want to waste time dating people that wouldn’t make the cut. So I cut to the chase in my discussions with potentials to see if it was even worth the attempt. No one’s getting any younger and if marriage is your end goal, then that should be at the forefront of your mind when you’re considering a potential mate.