Everyone in a relationship knows what it is like to have a full blown, all out argument! Both parties get frustrated everyone wants to win and nothing gets resolved. If you want to learn how to stop an argument dead in it’s tracks or at least how to get to the ‘make up’ part quickly, keep reading.
1. Deal with your emotion and then deal with the problem
There are two distinct things happening during an argument. There is the problem, and then there are your emotions either about that problem, or about something else.
Take some time away to deal with your emotion by yourself before even tackling the problem. If that means taking a walk or laying down, just be open about needed some time before talking about the issue. Everyone deserves a little space, some time to calm down, so take it and then re group.
2. Come back to the issue with a clear head
After taking some time away you should have decided by that time if what it is you are about to go bananas over is worth the argument. In other words pick your battles and that is easier to do that after thinking things through. Some things are so not worth fighting over!
3. Be honest about your feelings
If the fact that he is always on his cell phone at dinner is a problem, be in a position to say how that feels for you. “when you use your phone at dinner, I feel a bit neglected after not seeing you all day”. That opens up real dialogue and an valid attempt at fixing the problem sans, heated exchange.
4. Make up
What do you both like to do together that is simple and within reach? Maybe it is watching a movie with ice cream, do that after you have both constructively dealt with the issue. This is almost like a peace treaty or a reward for the both of you. Plus that activity can make you both happy which is win win.
We know things can get very complicated as no relationship is the same, so for deeper issues maybe the resolve is that you both go to counseling and start there. Do not be afraid of a little therapy, the great part about that is you both are making an attempt at saving your relationship and that is always a good thing!
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