I come from an extremely close knit family. Growing up, even though biologically I only had one sister, and one brother, my cousin, Janet* was also like a sister to me. Her mom was my mom’s sister, and they also lived in the same neighborhood as us, which basically meant she was always at my house or vice versa.
We were close in age, unlike my older sister, which made us extremely close, naturally. She was the first person I told when I got my first kiss, as well as my first heartbreak in high school. I was the first person she told the night her now husband proposed to her. My initial thought about Janet’s husband, Brian was that he was probably a nice guy from what she described.
I didn’t really have much interaction with him because I don’t have a husband, or even a boyfriend for that matter, so it’s not like we could double date, but I did occasionally see him during holiday dinners. The problem is, the first time I met him I got this eerie feeling from him I really don’t know how to describe it, but it was much different from what my cousin described.
It was like the feeling you get when you meet an older man who is trying to hit on you, and it immediately makes your skin crawl. Except, Brian was close to my age.
I just kind of shook it off, because Janet was extremely happy, and everybody else liked Brian too. Fast forward to now, Janet and Brian are seemingly happily married.
Here is where things get bad. Janet and I no longer live in the same state, so I decided to take a mini weekend trip to visit her, because she said Brian would be out of town on a work trip, and it would be the perfect time to get some girl time in.
I remember it just like it was yesterday. Janet and I had been drinking our favorite red wine, and literally laughing at everything.
We were beyond tipsy, and it felt good to have this time with my cousin, because I missed her. However, apparently Janet had a bit too much to drink, and I ended up having to put her to bed early, which led to me being alone in the living room catching up on a Netflix binge.
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Surprisingly, Brian walked through the door. I was a bit startled because I wasn’t expecting him, and I thought Janet said he was gone on a work trip, and I guess he could sense my shock, and said that he wanted to come home early and surprise Janet. I then filled him in on the wine episode, and he just laughed, and said typical Janet.
So, I assumed he would venture upstairs and check on his wife, but he actually sat down in the living room with me, actually right beside me.
He started off with the typical small talk, and I immediately got that eerie creepy feeling. He was just a bit too close for comfort. So, I told him that I was actually kind of tired, and was going to head to bed. He then placed his arm on my leg and told me that I didn’t have to do that.
By that point the eerie feeling turned to anger, because it was obvious what was going on. I told him to stop, and that if he just walks away now we can act like this never happened.
He said, “that’s what I was going to do anyways.” So, I proceeded to get up, and he pushed me back down on the couch and tried to restrain me! I couldn’t believe this. I mean I knew he was crazy, but clearly he didn’t know I was crazy too.
I nudged him in between his legs, and then socked him in the eye, and told him to never put his hands on me again. And ran upstairs. As I sat in my room, I was contemplating what just happened, and how and if I should tell Janet.
The next morning Janet came in my room seemingly much better, and cheery and I couldn’t even get the words out. I knew that I needed to tell her but I just couldn’t do it.
She seemed so happy with Brian, and I didn’t want to be the one to ruin that. So I went along with the weekend as normal, and to this day have never said a word to Janet. It’s eating me inside to know that she’s married to a clown, but I don’t know if Janet would ever forgive me for ruining her perfect picture.
You should tell your cousin ASAP. I recently had a similar thing happen to me only it was the older brother of an old gal pal from childhood; he is married, with several kids & his family is heavily into the church . When I told my pal, she said she would speak to him about it & when I asked if she believed me she said she had no reason not to because he’d done this before to other women. She also said she didn’t care what I did to him to make him stop. JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR ! Next time i get an invite to my pal’s picnic or other function, I’m taking mace & a self defense tool. Some men are just low down rotten dogs & depend on women not speaking out. This is what the Cosby case is all about….women not speaking out for decades. Bite the bullet & tell your cousin. If she believes you,good, if not, be prepared for some drama. The bottom line is that YOU MUST BE SAFE NO MATTER THE COST !!
Well, as a Saturday night quarterbacker, let me say I would have immediately left and went to a hotel. I would not have felt comfortable in going to sleep in his house. When, and if, my cousin asked what happened, I would tell her why. Otherwise telling her now, several days, week after the fact, she will be doubtful in that you stayed on, not saying a word. Women tend to feel other women are jealous of their happiness…only because they believe what they want to believe. Many times they really know how these men are but choose to overlook all the red flags rather than give up on the dream.
You’re right; but there are also women who think they’re the only victims of these lechers & that no one will believe them & that’s a legitimate fear because many times they aren’t believed. And then there are the insecure women who feel any man is better than no man at all so they stay with the the creeps & suffer the consequences.