Growing up in a strict household, dating was pretty much off limits for me. My dad was very adamant that I focused solely on my education first, and then boys later.
So, when I got to college and was out on my own it was a bit of a culture shock. I mean, I could stay out however late I wanted, and I didn’t have anyone going behind me to check and see if I did my homework, or to say that I better be home by a certain time.
Since my parents were paying out of pocket for my education, my gpa falling was not an option, and they prewarned me that if you let your gpa fall your first year it will be almost impossible to pick it back up.
So, my freshman year I worked my but off to make sure that I was on the Dean’s List both semesters, which meant that there wasn’t much time for boys. Sophomore year was a different story.
By then, I was slowly getting the hang of balancing academics with a social life, and that also included dating. I got my first boyfriend that year, and also my first kiss. The two of us were inseparable! His name was Marc. Marc and I met through mutual friends, so I knew him since my Freshman year, but we didn’t become friendlier till sophomore year.
Things with Marc were great at first. He was very well known around campus, so my popularity quickly catapulted, and before you know it people who I didn’t even know would walk past me on campus and wave. I really liked Marc’s outgoing personality.
The only time I didn’t like it was when he was being a bit too friendly with other females. I didn’t think much of it, and basically just chalked it up to being a paranoid girlfriend.
Not to mention, this was my first relationship, I really didn’t have much experience. One day, my best friend and I were siting in the library catching up on some work, when I got a Facebook message from a girl who I didn’t know.
The message said “Marc doesn’t really like you, and you’re dumb for being with such a loser.” I couldn’t believe it. Why would a girl just randomly choose me to be mean to, and why was she saying those things about me and Marc. I replied and asked her what is she talking about.
She then replied with “how dumb could you possibly be, Marc is cheating on you. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave him alone.”
By that point my best friend was angry and was in my ear telling me that I need to let that girl have it, and how dare she say some craziness like that to me, etc etc.
(We all have those friends.) Anyway, I immediately called Marc and explained to him the situation, and to my surprise he told me that he didn’t want to talk about it over the phone and that he would explain everything later that night.
It turned out, that Marc was actually cheating on me, and that girl was a girl that apparently got too attached after a one night stand. I couldn’t believe it. But, I definitely learned my lesson.
If you have a conviction about someone your dating, then you should voice it. I knew I didn’t like the way Marc was being so friendly with other women, and something about it just didn’t feel right, and I was right. Never ignore your female intuition.