I’ve been single for quite some time now, and the closer I get to 30, the more I think about my biological clock and sometimes I even feel like I can hear it ticking.

Since moving to a new city, I’ve dated around a bit, but for whatever reason nobody has really sparked my interest, or they weren’t looking for anything long term, just a casual fling here and there.

I’ve had plenty of conversations with my girlfriends about what I want in a guy, and many of them have admitted that the guy they marry has to have a lot of money, and be successful in a respectable career. However,  I don’t want a man to take care of me, and at the end of the day, I just  want to be married and build a family with someone.

I do, however, want to be comfortable and secure financially, in the sense that if I were to lose my job, or if I wanted to stay home with the kids, he would be able to support us. Meanwhile, a few months ago I started a new job at a local high school.

I work in the College Office, and I’ve gotten to know most of the staff, which includes the teachers, security guards, lunch ladies, and even the janitor, Kirby. The first day I met Kirby it was as if time stood still, as sappy as that sounds. I really can’t even explain it but he literally took my breath away, and even speech functioning.

We seemed to always get cornered in the elevator together, and he would spark up a conversation with me, and it was as if I was a mute because I could barely come up with words to say. It eventually got so bad that I would randomly go to his floor,  just so I could run into him! I even told my friend’s about Kirby, and how beautiful he is, except I managed to leave out one detail.

It wasn’t until I was with a couple of my girlfriends over drinks when I started talking on and on about Kirby, and it inadvertently slipped that he was the janitor. I didn’t even realize I said it and hoped that nobody had heard, but they did. They all did.

My best friend Kandice even asked me if I was serious, and then proceeded to bust out laughing. Their comments hurt my feelings and sort of busted my bubble. I mean, they were right. Nothing serious could come of this crush and I should just nip it in the bud, and that’s what I did.

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The following week at work, whenever I saw him I didn’t even speak, and I stopped going to his floor. At first, I didn’t think he totally got the clue, but eventually, he did. He stopped initiating conversation with me and stopped cornering me in the elevator.

I couldn’t put up or handle the criticism in my friend’s voices, and I know my family would have said or thought the same things. Have you ever been embarrassed about a new guy?

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