I’m slim. Not skinny, Slim. Honestly, I hate the word skinny. It’s so condescending and sounds like someone is literally just…skin.
I’ve had a small frame all my life and constantly have struggled with body image and self acceptance. Even up to the middle of last year I was on a weight-gain/get thick diet plan.
I can recall my 8th grade “boyfriend” telling me that I needed to eat more biscuits and gravy because it helps girls to develop. So guess what I did? I went home and asked my mother to make me biscuits and gravy. Ha! What a joke.
Fast forward through high school and even college. I was constantly trying to eat more and overstuffing myself. I even purchased Ensure for 350 extra drinkable calories and would drink about 3 a day along with my 5 regular meals. At the end of it all I think I gained like 3-5 pounds and it went to my stomach eek. Slim girl with a gut is just wrong!
Going on this constant rollercoaster with trying to gain weight in the right places was stressful. Last year I actually started working out aside from just yoga. This included running and going to the gym to lift weights with focus on my lower half. It wasn’t until towards the end of the year when I asked myself, why have I been so consumed with my body image?
I stared at the reflection of my naked body in my floor length mirror, tilted my head to one side and said out loud, “I have a nice shape!” At that moment I decided to drop all the weight gain antics and to embrace my body. I’ll probably always remain slim and that’s ok.
Yes, I’ll continue to work out and drink protein shakes to build muscle but I won’t be so obsessed with the idea of getting “thick” or changing my body image. Each day I pass the mirror and I’m a little bit more appreciative of what I was blessed with.