We Moved To A New State And My Husband Used A Gay Website To Meet New ‘Friends’

Dear UrbanGyal, I just had to share this story because as I look back it was quite hilarious and even though it was like living in the Twilight zone I did learn something, so here goes.

I met my ex – husband right after College, as a matter of fact I was finishing my final year when we met. If you ask me now what I was attracted to I couldn’t tell you because we went through so much sh*t I hardly want to recall even the good times.

Anyway back in the day when we were talking and getting to know each other he told me that he had many gay friends and a lot of them liked him but he was straight.

He had one friend that he actually promised a roll in the sack with if the guy would let him use his house for a night time rendezvous with a woman he was interested in. Of course that was my first clue that something was a bit off but you know how us women are when we just want everything to just be perfect and we convince ourselves that, ‘his past will not affect our future”.

Skip a forward a year we eventually get married and settled down in a new State, we both didn’t know anyone, I mean we had my co-workers which he knew but he had always boasted about being an introvert and was ok with just chilling alone.

Since that conversation about the gay friends a year or so ago he had continuously given hints that he might be at least gay curious.

He had gay men come over in the middle of the day when I was not at home, claiming the guys just came over to hang out or just watch movies.

To say I was worried for my own safety is an understatement, I could not make sense of what my husband the man who was supposed to be the love my life was doing. Thinking back, I just did not want to make sense of it and so I let everything slide. The last straw was that one day I found out he talked to gay men online and one of them contacted him through messenger.

 

Picture this, rushing to work in the morning only to hear quite distinctly a ping on our home computer. We usually leave the computer on out of habit and my man happened to be signed into messenger.

Hearing the sound, naturally it caught my attention and to my non surprise not only is it some dude saying “good morning sweetie” but he sends a pic with his enormous ding dong in his hands.

I am stunned beyond belief, yes I had hints, yes he had mentioned gay friends but who in hell is this dude?- A real dude, a typing to my man dude, someone who clearly knows a ‘sweetie’ in my house and it clearly was not me!?

I then decide to be late for work because I had a confrontation to take care of. “Who is this?” – I showed him the screen with the picture, he turns off the chat and says just a dude he knows, then asks me if I wanted to be late, because all of a sudden “Mr. always late” could read the time.

In my mind I was thinking ok I guess this means there will be no conversation for him, but I wanted an explanation. I figured if I got a “di*k pic good morning” he would, if he cared, have at least like to know the back story. Fair right?

So after some high pitch screams on my part, he finally admitted he had a profile on a popular gay website so that he could meet male friends in the area because he doesn’t get a long with straight men as much as he does gay men.

Believe it or not, I half way accepted that excuse but I did not get it, I just didn’t understand why he would need a gay website where men go to meet other men, not for friendships but for hookups, to make friends? I kept asking myself, what about me? Why was I not enough, Was he protecting himself?

I have nothing against gay men or women, lets just be clear, I just figure if that’s what you are into then you should just be honest about it for all involved.

It did not take long after that for us to end up going our separate ways, the gay thing was the icing on the cake, our marriage was just wrong from the start.

Moral of the story is, follow your gut, do not waste precious years watching hints go by because one day you might just be faced with a huge ding dong (pun intended) and you will kick yourself for not walking away sooner.