It’s a question as old as modern-day relationships, where women juggle boyfriends and male friends quite regularly. Obviously, for those who are more old-fashioned, the answer to the above question would be NO. But for the Millennials and free-spirited, the answer is yes.
There is no right or wrong answer to this question, and it simply comes down to the the individuals involved. Not all relationships and friendships are the same and in some cases, things could go awry, causing havoc in a romantic relationship and vice versa.
Important questions to ask yourself
If you currently have a male friend that you’d like to keep around as you date or even after you get married, in order to secure your relationship and your friendship, you have to make sure that you aren’t crossing boundaries that could ruin everything.
Here are some valid questions you need to answer to determine if you should keep your boy buddy around:
- Are you and your guy pal attracted to one another? You know you aren’t, but are you sure he isn’t attracted to you? (Answer: Hopefully, no)
- Have the two of you ever done anything intimate together? (Answer: Should be no)
- Have the two of you ever dated? (Answer: Should be no)
- How close are the two of you? Do you sleepover or feel comfortable enough to change clothes in front of him? (Answer: Close, but not that close)
- Does your friend get along with your man? (Answer: Better be yes!)
Be considerate of your relationships
Guys get jealous and insecure just like the best of us. This is why you have to make sure that there aren’t any threats that he should worry about. If you answered the above questions correctly, then your man has nothing to worry about.
If you truly want both of your relationships to survive, you have to be considerate of both. There is a grave chance that both could end up getting hurt. Your friendship could cause insecurities at home that could push away you guy pal. There’s no winner in this scenario.
Talk to your mate upfront about your guy friend and introduce the two early on (maybe after a few months). Make sure that everything is cool before things get too serious. And if there is a problem early on, make the decisions firmly on who you are going to drop. This can be a hard decision, but you have to figure out who matters more.
Your guy friend is great, but don’t let him ruin your chance to having a meaningful relationship! And if anything, consider slowing down how much the two of you talk and hang out. Compromising is a great way to work things out so that everyone is happy. If there is any chance that boundaries can or have already been crossed between you and your guy friend, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship with him!
Do you have a male best friend that you put over your relationships? Or do you manage both pretty well?