It’s no secret marriage isn’t for everyone. And Shonda Rhimes wants to assure you that it’s ok to say it out loud.
She and Oprah sat down and discussed the topic during OWN’s SuperSoul Sundays.
Shonda erased the word no from her vocabulary for an entire year and her year of saying yes helped her admit the fact that she never wants to get married.
When most little girls dream of their wedding day, Shonda only dreamed of babies. She wanted to be a mother and that dream came true but has decided marriage isn’t for her.
“I’m one of those people, since I was 5, I could tell you I was going to have kids. I could tell you I was going to have three. I could tell you they were going to be girls,” she says. “But I have never wanted to get married. I never played bride. I was never interested. I don’t know what it is; I never wanted to get married.”
Shonda believes that she would be unable to balance her children, her career and a husband all while giving each adequate attention.
Oprah also resonates with the topic as well and realizes that she has never really said it out loud. She discusses how she and Stedman were originally planning to get married in 1993 but things were put on hold due to anticipation of her book releasing.
“What I realized is, I don’t want to be married,” Oprah says. “Because I could not have the life that I created for myself … I knew that I couldn’t do it.”
Both women who are widely respected speaking openly about the topic especially hits home for the southern sisters who are often raised with the intent to marry.
How many of you have gone home for Thanksgiving or to a family gathering only to hear questions from extended family members of when you are getting married?!
I know that I for one am always hit with the question and it sucks.
While I hope to get married one day, for those who say they have no desire to take that step in their lifetime will most likely get a look of disbelief or disappointment in return.
Shonda, at 45, says that she feels extremely liberated at finally saying it out loud and being truthful about it.
Good for you Shonda! Check out more of her realizations from her Year of Yes in her new book.