Learn how to read the signs that all is not as it seems when you meet a new man.
We’ve all been there girls. You meet this guy, he seems perfect. He tells you that he works for an investment bank in the city and plays tennis in his spare time. He has no ex missus or children. He promises glamorous nights out at movie premiers and the possibility of the Oscars next year. How can you resist; you give him your number.
You speak to him for a week and a half before he pins you down for a Saturday night date. He hasn’t asked what you want to do yet so you are all set for a fabulous night. Something expensive anyway . . . Wednesday comes along and you can barely contain yourself you are so excited. He could be the one couldn’t he?
You receive a call from him. His conversation seems forced and you wonder why he called you if he didn’t want to chat. How much is a taxi from town to your place? About £15? Well . . . something’s come up so he’s not sure he will be able to see you after all. Maybe when he gets back? Gets back from where? You ask him. He has been called away on an urgent business trip to Brussels in the morning he says remorsefully. He is so sorry to disappoint you but he doesn’t think he will be back until late on Saturday.
The anticlimax is unbearable. Oh well, maybe next weekend then, he suggests. You agree because he seems really nice and clearly he’s not bailing out altogether, he still wants to take you out next weekend doesn’t he? In any case, you still want your brilliant night out!
The following week he sends you text messages religiously every other day just to see how you are doing. As always, he says ‘Phone me later if you are not busy’. How considerate of him to ask you to phone him. He doesn’t want to disturb you if you are busy. On Thursday he sends you another text message asking you to make sure you phone him in the evening. You phone him and hold your breath. Is he going to cancel on you again?
No, he isn’t cancelling, he still wants to see you on Saturday night but today he got some bad news. It would seem that his mean old boss didn’t pay him this week. Something about the cheque being paid in late. He laments, if only he had taken you out on last Saturday, he had lots of money then . . .
You could always meet him in town if he wants to see you anyway, you suggest. How much is bus fare into town again, he asks? £3 for a return ticket? Ok, but you know what would be more fun? It turns out he has the house to himself this week. Apparently his mother is off on holiday (You didn’t know he lived with his mum). Why don’t you come round and have a drink at his house and watch a DVD of the latest Brad Pitt movie. You know the one that was released in Cinemas yesterday?
You hesitate, should you go?
Familiar story above with many variations but the answer is simple: He is a loser. Forget him; delete his number from your phone and move on to the next guy.
The clues are right before our eyes girls and yet we choose not to see them.
1. He’s an investment banker is he? Why does he text you asking you to phone him back? Translation: He doesn’t have credit on his pay as you go phone . . . . . Loser!
2. Movie premiers and the Oscars? Yeah right! Translation: His mate once got him some free tickets to the premier of a B-list film . . . . . Loser!
3. He asked how much a taxi from town was. As soon as he heard it was £15 he said that he had an urgent business trip to Brussels. Translation: He doesn’t have the money for a taxi and Brussels is just a fantasy . . . . . Loser!
4. The boss of an investment bank has not paid staff on time? And he continues to remain in their employ? Yeah right! Translation: He’s already spent his Job seekers allowance this week . . . . . Loser!
5. He has an alternative to meeting you in town, ‘Come to my house instead.’ Translation: He has to spend £3 to get to town and he’d rather use it to buy a cheap bottle of wine and stay home . . . . . . Loser!
6. His mum is off on holiday? He is 33 years old and still living with mummy dearest . . . . . Loser!
7. He has a DVD of a film that opened in the Cinema yesterday? A pirate DVD of course. How un-cool . . . . . Loser!
Now obviously the scenario above is awash with many clues but in this tiresome world of dating, especially when you haven’t had much interest in a few weeks and this man starts talking to you it is tempting to ignore the signs. Big mistake!
You will only end up regretting it later on. 3 trips to his mum’s house later, you will finally sleep with him then find out he has a son he doesn’t see any more because the boy’s mother is a psycho. Why didn’t mention this before, you ask? Well it’s because he didn’t think he could trust you but now that he knows you better he’s sure you will understand. Translation: He’s got into your pants now and he doesn’t care what you think. Loser!
Girls, learn how to read the signs!