Dating can be tricky at times. Getting sucked in to the idea of someone being your prince charming when they paint a picture of perfection can happen. But what if everything he told you was a lie and he is in fact living a secret life?
Well tell me how that happened to me not once but twice?!
I met Guy #1 back in college at a club. He had just gotten back to the states after playing professional basketball overseas for 3 years.
He was 6’10 with beautiful brown skin and a nice smile. Weakness! We had great conversation and he kept me laughing but unfortunately the fling didn’t last long. After finally exchanging social media I did a bit of lurking on his Facebook page to learn a little more about him. Hey, I work in forensics so investigating comes naturally!
Next thing I know I end up on his friends page, who leads me to this girl’s page who has Guy #1 plastered all over. “Couplely” photos and references to him being her “hunny bun”. The girl lived in the UK and obviously they still had a pretty intimate relationship going on. At least clearly from her side. Distance didn’t stop it.
I questioned him about it and of course he denied the accusations and said she was just a “friend”. Long story short he got cut!
I use this product EVERY week!
To my gyals, Clay has cured my skin of years of acne prone skin, improved my complexion, acne scars and shrunk my pores with clay. This is the BEST assortment pack to try all my favorite kinds of clay. + it's affordable!
Guy #2 actually happened a couple of months ago. I met him on the popular dating app Tinder. I had just moved to the DMV area and was looking to get to know people in the area.
He was charming and we went out on a couple of dates to get to know each other. I learned that he had recently returned to the states after working 2 years in Japan. Fast forward to a month later when we were face timing and he rushed off the phone because he had an international call to take. Um call from who? was my first thought but I decided to subdue my natural “crazy girl status” tendencies and let him take his call.
I then hopped on Instagram and started to stalk his page. Long story short I learned he had a girlfriend back in Japan. I wasn’t really bothered because we had different religious views anyways which is a deal breaker for me so I was about to end things anyway, but it’s the principle of the matter.
Deja Vu is not the word. Like wtf. How could this have happened twice?! I really know how to pick em huh?
At least I learned about both situations early on so there weren’t any feelings invested yet. For me it’s important to know who I’m dating up front which is why I now make sure I ask all the right questions.
I think it is so important to guard my heart when dating and getting to know someone. I listen to everything, pay attention to red flags and see if he lies. I note how he talks about his mother and how he responds to conversation about commitment. I ask deeper questions about his childhood and how he was raised. I also go into his deepest fears and find what makes him tick.
And lastly, Note to self: Never date a guy who has recently returned to the states after living overseas for years!